MANHATTAN, NEW YORK– I STAND ALONE was spotted in Union Square with what appeared to be a human female/Roberts. At this time, details are still pouring in but we may be in for some big changes. I STAND ALONE has always prided himself upon his journalistic integrity, truth-telling prowess, and or use of blazers.
Here’s an unnecessary pic of Roberts!
Good day!
Ascendency
Entries from June 2007
June 30, 2007
I STAND ALONE SPOTTED WITH SOMEONE FAMOUS
June 29, 2007
Voulez-Vous YachtClub?
Good evening, fanbase. It’s me, YachtClub!
Since news broke of my addition to the much-ballyhooed Roberts Blog [insert trademark sign, thx] the questions have been gushing in, like so much sea sputum up my barely-existent skirt. So let’s get to it.
Number one question: Do you even know Roberts, you nautical slut?
Well, no. And that’s why I’ve [...]
June 29, 2007
DUDE IS CLONED, HAS NO BELLY BUTTON!!!!
Dear Diary,
As you know, it’s been ten days since I’ve written in you, and you know that sux. But what am I supposed to do about it? General Westbird has me on a strict training regimen this week. He wants me to mop the floor in war games on Tuesday 0800 and they’ve got me [...]
June 29, 2007
Hey Roberts, It’s B.D. Wong Here.
Hey Roberts.,
It’s me, B.D. Wong from Law & Order. You may know me from Law and Order. But then again, you may know me from outside your window yelling the words “ROBERTS! ROBERTS! You TOLD ME YOU FELT THE SAME WAY!!!!!!!!!!”
Or maybe you like it when I’m a little less desperate…Ok [...]
June 28, 2007
Hey Guys, Alex Here
I just had a little brain-spasm. It’s okay. I’m fine now. I actually wet the bed again last night. I do that sometimes. Does anyone else do that? Geez…I feel like I’ve been going on and on. Sorry for boring you. Let me get down to business:
Alright, now that that’s over and done with, we [...]
June 28, 2007
She Who Is Ascendancy & I Am Legend Welcome Cap’n YachtClub
Hey, It’s Ascendancy. We (royal plural) met an amazing individual disease called Cap’n YachtClub while on Sea Cruise over the weekend. Call it YachtClub. Don’t call it anything else. She’s a student of mid-career Hemingway and postumous Melville. She don’t fuck around. The captain knows more than you and may or [...]
June 28, 2007
The Quotable Roberts: Virginia Tech Gets Creamed
Roberts: “It must have been really awkward for whatever football, baseball, or basketball team had to come to Virginia Tech after Cho and beat their ass on the field. It must have been a very quiet celebration. Or some dude freaks out and’s, like, ‘Yeah! We took you down!’ Somebody’s like, ‘Shut up, John, this [...]
June 28, 2007
Guitarmy was the Topic
In the beginning, when it was Roberts and me, Roy Cohn and the Semitic Merge/Purge was guitar band; Roberts and I both played rhythm guitar. Our songs, which were just two rhythm guitar parts, would last for twenty minutes, and those were songs. Roberts heard there was a guy who got together a [...]
June 27, 2007
S. ALAN LARNER SPEAKS!!!
As Tall as Oak, and Twice as Hard: A Full and Accurate Account of my Travels In the Eastern Region of the United States of America and How I came to Hear of the Sage and Healer Roberts and What Events Befell Me Before and After Having Heard the Rumors and My Subsequent Determination to [...]
June 28, 2007
Bogie-n-Bacall on Roberts
Bogie and Bacall wrote us to say:
“You don’t have to do anything. Not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle–You know how to whistle, don’t you, Roberts? You just put your lips together and blow.”
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