Monthly Archives: June 2007

I STAND ALONE SPOTTED WITH SOMEONE FAMOUS

MANHATTAN, NEW YORK– I STAND ALONE was spotted in Union Square with what appeared to be a human female/Roberts.  At this time, details are still pouring in but we may be in for some big changes.  I STAND ALONE  has always prided himself upon his journalistic … Continue reading

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Filed under A Tall Ship and a Star To Steer Her By, Blow Jobs, Cluckbody, Cock, Coke, Condoms, Crack, Cyrillic, Girls Have Vaginas, God, I Stand Alone, I'm tired of being alone with Indians, ITEM!, Lindsay Lohan, Lohan vagina, Penis, Porn Writing Is For Porn Stars, Pornography, Slash Fic, The Vagina Monologues, The weird ass staff is made with beads, Vagina, Virginia Tech!, Virtual Sex, Vodka, Vomit

Voulez-Vous YachtClub?

Good evening, fanbase.  It’s me, YachtClub! Since news broke of my addition to the much-ballyhooed Roberts Blog [insert trademark sign, thx] the questions have been gushing in, like so much sea sputum up my barely-existent skirt.  So let’s get to … Continue reading

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Filed under A Tall Ship and a Star To Steer Her By, Blow Jobs, D.C., Dirty Sanchez, Girls Have Vaginas, Gordon Brown, hookers, Hot or Not, House, ITEM!, Jarvis Cocker, Lawless Sainted, Lesbians, Madonna, Mindreading, Muff, Myspace Roberts, Naked, Nervous Bitch, Pornography, Question Time, The Lonely Sea and Sky, Wilson

DUDE IS CLONED, HAS NO BELLY BUTTON!!!!

Dear Diary, As you know, it’s been ten days since I’ve written in you, and you know that sux. But what am I supposed to do about it? General Westbird has me on a strict training regimen this week. He … Continue reading

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Filed under DARPA, Hurricane Katrina, I Am Erotic, Iced Lattes for Assholes, It's so fucking hot here, Kieth, Med-talk, Space: Above and Beyond

Miss Roberts

Here are some things that make Roberts vomit.  JFK AUTOPSY PHOTOS  Sure Ok, ROBERTS. That’s fair. It’s pretty gross. I get it.  Pictures of Marilyn Dead:  Wait a minute, ROBERTS. SHe looks like she’s sleeping. That’s …..just of pin up … Continue reading

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Filed under Alex, Clinton, Fantastic Four II wasn't as bad as everyone's saying it, Roberts, Roberts Boy Toy, Roberts doesn't have a first name as far as I'm concern, Roberts Needs Good Food, Roberts Williams, Ron Perlman, Saddam, war, When Someone Says They're Fine They Are Lying

Столичная!

I’m rilly disappointed in you guys. Regards, Vlad

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Filed under AIDS, Baby Blues, Blow Jobs, Cyrillic, Dead Poets Society, Death and Dying, ITEM!, Keep Hope Alive, KGB, Law and Order: Criminal Intent, Moscow on the Hudson, Murder, Roberts Williams, TNT, Tough Guys, Vodka, Washington, Wilson, YachtClub, Yayo

Hey Roberts, It’s B.D. Wong Here.

Hey Roberts., It’s me, B.D. Wong from Law & Order. You may know me from Law and Order. But then again, you may know me from outside your window yelling the words “ROBERTS! ROBERTS! You TOLD ME YOU FELT THE … Continue reading

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Filed under B.D. Wong, Law And Order: Special Victims Unit, M. Butterfly, molestation, Muff, Myspace Roberts, Penetratus, Penis, Porn Writing Is For Porn Stars, Razor Flip Phone, Roberts Boy Toy, Saddam, Scaffolding, Scott Larner, Slash Fic, Stalking, Television, Thank You Steve Roberts, Yankee

Hey Guys, Alex Here

I just had a little brain-spasm. It’s okay. I’m fine now. I actually wet the bed again last night. I do that sometimes. Does anyone else do that? Geez…I feel like I’ve been going on and on. Sorry for boring … Continue reading

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Filed under I'm tired of being alone with Indians, It's a fucking sock doll., The weird ass staff is made with beads, Why won't Star Wars Just Die?

Bogie-n-Bacall on Roberts

 Bogie and Bacall wrote us to say: “You don’t have to do anything. Not a thing.  Oh, maybe just whistle–You know how to whistle, don’t you, Roberts?  You just put your lips together and blow.”

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Filed under Bogie and Bacall, Boneless Spare Rib Combo, Cleveland Steamer, Cock, Diabetes, DNA, Ebonics, Famous Couples who Come back to life to comment on our, Fictional Characters, God, ITEM!, Kiss and Make Up, Mooning, Nervous Bitch, OTP, Read A Book, Roberts, Roberts doesn't have a first name as far as I'm concern, Roberts Needs Good Food, Roberts Williams, Slavery, Starbucks, Vishnu, Vomit, Washington, Whatever!, YachtClub's anniversary is the same as Bogie and Bacall, You Know Me, Zazersdki

She Who Is Ascendancy & I Am Legend Welcome Cap’n YachtClub

Hey, It’s Ascendancy. We (royal plural) met an amazing individual disease called Cap’n YachtClub while on Sea Cruise over the weekend. Call it YachtClub. Don’t call it anything else. She’s a student of mid-career Hemingway and postumous Melville. She don’t … Continue reading

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Filed under Lawless, Lawless Sainted, Roberts Needs Good Food, Roberts Williams, Sticky Fingaz, Suicide Bomb, Tank, Taye Dig Me, Taye-Taye Talk, Virginia Tech!, Vomit, YachtClub

The Quotable Roberts: Virginia Tech Gets Creamed

Roberts: “It must have been really awkward for whatever football, baseball, or basketball team had to come to Virginia Tech after Cho and beat their ass on the field. It must have been a very quiet celebration. Or some dude … Continue reading

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Filed under How's Cho?, Virginia Tech!

Guitarmy was the Topic

In the beginning, when it was Roberts and me, Roy Cohn and the Semitic Merge/Purge was guitar band; Roberts and I both played rhythm guitar. Our songs, which were just two rhythm guitar parts, would last for twenty minutes, and … Continue reading

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Filed under 9-11

I Saw The Blood Of A Thousand Virgin Goats Swimming In Her Eyes

She’s so cute!

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Filed under Meredith Brooks, Nervous Bitch, The Gay Science, The Silver Surfer, Virginia Tech!

Katrina Kidz! #1: Spoiler Alert!

Hey-Yo, It’s Michaelangelo McCartney. I’m a famous 8 year old living in the 9th Ward, WHAA SUP! OILERS WILL WINN SUPERBOWL IN ’08! YO! I was all dogz, I was wondering if there was a way I could get a … Continue reading

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Filed under Amy Ascends, hookers, Hurricane Katrina, Iced Lattes for Assholes, It's so fucking hot here, Michaelangelo, Starbucks, Washington, When Someone Says They're Fine They Are Lying, Women, Yankee

LOL: It’s ME JUMA!

Hey It’s me, JUMA.  I’m the kid the taliban tricked into wearing a bomb vest.  LOLZ!    Here’s me: I freakin Love Orange Soda.  It’s awesome.  I came across your blog and i have a few questions. I know I may … Continue reading

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Filed under "Homos", 9-11 Never Happened, Daniel Pearl, Death, Fred Larner, Fuck Digg, Full Metal Jacket, JUMA, Reilly, Religion Is A Pueblo Indian Without A Head That Is Stil, Roberts, Suicide Bomb

S. ALAN LARNER SPEAKS!!!

As Tall as Oak, and Twice as Hard: A Full and Accurate Account of my Travels In the Eastern Region of the United States of America and How I came to Hear of the Sage and Healer Roberts and What … Continue reading

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Filed under Alex, Alex No-Quiz, Amy, Amy's Quiz Show, BBQ Sauce, Boneless Spare Rib Combo, Hurricane Katrina, Scott Larner, The Vagina Monologues, Zazersdki