Dear 1994, IT’S REZNOR DAY! (SATURDAY)

Hey Baby! Some people call me the Space Cowboy! Doo-doo doo doo doo! The Panhandler of Love!
Yo, you can’t handle my version of Reznor day. You just can’t. You just can’t!
Picture this: Amy “Lawless” Lawless at 16. Or whatevs. I’m like maybe 17. It [...]

Hasta La YachtClub!

Hey cocksuckaz!  I’m back.

My chocha is burning, compadres – and I’m not just talking about the ton of hot lead between my legs.  A thousand hits in one day is great and all, but let’s bump this shizz up.  I know what all you perverts out there are looking for.  What do you think I’m [...]

Strike The Hullabaloo: We’s Ain’t’s Gotts No Times!

Y’alls. Dis Pinnocle. I heard that if you yanks yo krank onto a picture of a rabbit, then you’ll scrunch us up on thems hits. We need 22 more to break a 1,000.
Filly-cheesesteak on the verbal communique. We need all y’alls back on the site to prove the point. Haha!
SSSSsally now’s the time to [...]

White Tights, A Retrospective

hey Craig.  Check out these fucking hot legs.

That clover is like painted on her milky white skin!!!!

ughh.  this is so gross.   i hate white tights when a child wears them. takes away all the sexxxx appeal.

drrrrrooooool. Craig don’t you love this?

Craig can you believe this?  It’s some slut who got itchy when she was [...]

ROBERTS KIDNAPS ICED LATTE & MYSPACE-I-AM-LEGEND

If you go to the links on the side, you see that the link for Myspace Alex (I AM LEGEND) the link doesn’t work.  The link brings you to a dead page.   I feel like I am Legend was kidnapped by Roberts and the next few pages will from I Am Legend will be Stockholm [...]

S. ALAN LARNER SPEAKS!!!

As Tall as Oak, and Twice as Hard: A Full and Accurate Account of my Travels In the Eastern Region of the United States of America and How I came to Hear of the Sage and Healer Roberts and What Events Befell Me Before and After Having Heard the Rumors and My Subsequent Determination to [...]

Stop Sweating Me, Peacock

 Last night I went to a bar by myself and played Buck Hunter for about an hour. I got home, you know, thinking, “If you can masturbate, you should, but if you’re too tired, no one’s gonna give you shit for it.”
Fast forward five minutes to me reading this e-mail in the dark:
From: Kurtis Peacock
To: [...]

Roberts Needs People To Like Him

Poll Time!

ok so in order for you to take this poll, you have to click on “vote” and it will bring you to the actual poll. We will post the statistics at a later date. THANKS FOR PLAYING!!!

Who just paid for Roberts’ beer?

Alex

Roberts himself, thank you very much.

Matt Dillon

Dan Magerski

A vagina with teeth

Scott [...]

Zazerski: You Are The Shit

 
You post the best comments on this blog and that includes Lawless and Myself and Roberts and don’t leave us without another sweet line.

Ellie Idol Redux (Because I found a picture of her)

Ellie Idol,
If it wasn’t clear enough after I wrote that e-mail to your alternative modelling agency, Ellie, then let me make it clearer. I want you to star as my girlfriend in the next life. This is a picture of you when your stage name was Chloe.

Alex: A List of Pros and Cons
Pro: I’m not [...]

Dear Alex,

Why Does Roberts Love Scaffolding So Much?
I’m afraid the answer lies in the Bavarian Forest with Scott Larner.
My best,
Amy

Roberts: American Hero Climbs Scaffolding

After another shitty night at the Beauty Bar in which some girl kept thrusting her dick into the side of my leg, Roberts decided to break up the monotony and scale some scaffolding outside of the shoe store.

Leave it to this guy…now get back to Amy’s quiz below.