COCKDAY

Yachtclub was all “where the cock?”

Taye-Taye say: “It’s thin in the skin, but the stain grates the brain!”
On his fake Friday a fourth of july orchestra of Oysters Legend say “Spyware is cryware. Sharpen your teeth on this before you shite there”:

Goren said “Let’s go to the beach! I’ll brush our [...]

Ellie Idol: NAKED AS A PUCK!!!!

Yo I love gettin’ FREE INTERNET PICS!!!!!

Yo don’t you love FREE PICS!!! DIRTY LITTLE ELLIE, YAW!

FREE PICS IN THE HIZZEY!!!! YAW!!!!!
Um, excuse me, sir? What are you doing on this computer?
OH YO SORRY YAW. LISTEN PICS, I WAS ABOUT TO MAKE LIKE A TREE___
Who are you?
OH–SHIT, UMM, MY NAME’S Jerry.
As in Jerry’s Subs and Pizza?
THAT’S [...]

Poodle Fluffing.

Dear House,
I think my sister and I will go to dinner to this place called Tea & Sympathy in the WeVi. We will talk only of you and ignore death.

Love,
Drunk Equals You

Montage Alert

I know, I know I know! But it’s time for another montage. Turn your volumes off and turn your head off but keep your eyes open. Let the montage take you over. Roberts, knows full well why I’m posting this: it’s for his own good. He has to be aware that one [...]

To All The Haters…

Haters of this blog should understand that by “hating” the blog, they are actually on Roberts’ side. It’s simple math!
Let me put this in a metaphor involving Criminal Intent.
When you turn on Criminal intent, what you expect to see is this:

Just like when you’d expect a blog on Roberts to be a [...]

Natural Disaster or Roberts?

Natural Disaster or Caused by Steve Roberts?
Natural Disaster:

Or Roberts?

Q1. Hermit Crabs.

Always crashing at your place. Natural Disaster Or Roberts?
A1:
This one is a roberts. No doubt.

Q2. 9-11.

A2. This one is difficult. The terror came from the sky. But I can’t really say that it was natural. It was an evil [...]

So, Roberts Finally Makes A Fucking Appearance

Commenting on Lawless’ D’Onofrio entry, no less.
Leave it to Roberts to kill the buzz when he gets to the party
Charisma? Anti-charisma.
Anti-heroism? Heroism
Robertsism:
stevies | squidonspeed@gmail.com | stevies.tumblr.com | IP: 149.31.12.127 Jun 12, 7:41 PM — [ Edit | Delete ] — View post “Guess Who?”
Vincent D’Onofrio in Full Metal Jacket.
Bulk action: Approve [...]

Vagina Dentata

Nothin Says “I Love You” like a Vagina with Teeth.

And nothin says Roberts like the word Roberts. And nothing says racism like D’Onofrio getting his shoes shined by a black boy.

Guess Who?

Who does this remind you of?

Get Over It, Bigot

When someone uses the “N-word,” all I hear is the word “IGNORANT.”

When someone uses the “F-word,” I ask them: Don’t you know that a faggot is just a bundle of sticks?
 

 
When I hear the “W-word” all I think is: You bigots!
 
 

Bike-Crying: The New Bike-Riding

I was presented with two kinds of man. One rides his bike without looking around him. He gets to his destination first. The second looks around him, stops, picks up little children who’ve fallen and hands them a flower or at least makes sure the nearest molester doesn’t butt rape him [...]

Were you aware that I’ve been fucking D’Onofrio for three years?

So I’m in the bathroom masturbating to a crumpled up picture of D’Onofrio. I call it “making love to Vincent” and Roberts knocks on the door and says “Are you in there?” I totally lose my buzz and I walk back into the living room and roberts just stares up from my Entertainment [...]

On The Killing Of Transients– Still Funny?

Here is why we should not kill transients anymore: It is just not funny. It is like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog- not without it’s charm, but a thing of the past.
Last week Harold and I were sipping our latte’s on Irving Place when we noticed a hipster, wearing a decently fitting black blazer, blue [...]

End Slavery

End Slavery
Just stop doing slavery. It’s not okay anymore. I know, I know: completely free labour(sic) is fantastic. This and that about the South yadda yadda bullshit. But slavery is bad. Yesterday I had a dream. It was the usual crap with a bunch of my friends and their faces changed and I was [...]

Crippled Dude From House, MD Gives Some Guy Aids.

So I’m watching House, M.D. (Medicinæ Doctor) with Johnny last week. When our tests came back we were clean, but he had breast cancer. I know, I know, and before you even ask, I’ll tell you:
House, Medicinæ Doctor is a pretty good show. But Hugh Laurie, who I believe played the role of Freddy Kreuger, [...]