Droid Army Merchandise

Here is all of the merch-related stuff.

Support Burma’s Droid Army

The monks are pissed. They ruined my planned getaway to Southeast Asia. We had it all planned out- first class all the way. Hookers in Sri Lanka and arms-buying in Saigon.

We were going to buy a shitload of hentai in Japan on the way, and sell it to the monks in Rangoon (Yangon).

But then the monks pissed away all our plans by starting a revolution.

Okay, okay. I know…the military junta has already quelled the resistance by putting them all under house arrest. Monks are locked into their monasteries, unable to peacefully protest. My people are again under the strong arm of fear and oppression. Theoretically, it now seems possible for me to go back to my homeland.

The problem is, well, I wouldn’t be able to see Shwedagon.

Yeah, it’s on total lockdown. The people have spoken, and have been silenced.

The next time you open your dumb slave mouths to talk shit about the US, understand that things really could be worse.

Also, putting money in the hands of these fuckers has become uglier than ever. It’s over.

So I’ve made some t-shirts. The first has an image of the fighting peacock. One of the historical flags in Burma is that of a peacock with its feathers fanned out, but doing the student protests of 88 (when thousands were slaughtered by the military), they created this logo:

Here’s what the shirt looks like. It’s sweet.

I also went ahead and created this:

This is the first product available in the Roberts shop that is made for and about women. It’s a maternity shirt, and there’s a picture of a ninja on the belly. This shows people that you are drinking sake whilst pregnant and teaching your baby to be a ninja. Here’s an upclose of the ninja you will be purchasing:

So go to the shop. And remember, we don’t make a dime off this shit, and the shirts are limited.

Lord Vore Was An Inside Job T-Shirt For The More Vaginal Sex

Due to popular demand, I’ve created more clothing for the droids. We have sold thousands (I know…weird) t-shirts for dudes. They all want to be droids. Well, women, gone are your days of wearing buttons.

The front has a beautiful design, declaring that Lord Vore’s comments on iheardaboutthisreallycoolthing were actually made by close friends of the blog.

The back features our smart little droid army logo. Here’s what they both look like close up.

It looks a lot smoother on the shirt, just had to make it smaller here so you could sees it.

It’s perfect. Fucking perfect. Also, these shirts are fucking sweet. American Apparel and all that shit. We don’t make a cent off ‘em. (Yes, Cafe Press makes a few bucks off ‘em, but we don’t).

That’s all for now, slaves. Buy a shirt!

PEIEIEIEIEIFDIFJIDJFISJFDEFJPIRFEWIFIWEOIFEOEWNEWEAREALLSLAVESGRGRGRWGPIJGRWPGRNREWJGWPREGFPWEJGFEWPOGF

You can also get a t-shirt with this on it at the shop.

You’re Going To Have To Want This

September 6th, 2007

 

We’ve sold hundreds of t-shirts. Everybody wants to be in the Droid Army!!!

But our House t-shirt got us busted. Waahhhhh!!!

That’s okay. We have a new, limited print of this House T-shirt.

You should get this. Of course, the Droid Army logo is on the back.

This fine T is American Apparel, custom fit. Looks good on cocks and on birds. Good luck out there, slaves.

By the way, I was dead serious when I said I would bring the heat. Here it is.

THE DROID ARMY: NEW T-SHIRT MODELED

September 4th, 2007

 

 

Roberts has taken it upon himself to model the new Droid Army T-Shirt. It is f’in fabulous.

Roberts say: House feel good on chest.

 

 

 

 

 

BUT HERE’S THE THING: AS I WARNED YOU, THIS IMAGE MAY HAVE BEEN COPYRIGHTED. WELL, IT WAS. SO ONLY TWO T-SHIRTS WERE MADE. THAT’S RIGHT. IT’S OVER. SORRY, SLAVES. THIS ONE’S OFF THE MARKET.

Introducing The Droid Army

July 5th, 2007
Hey guys, I Am Legend here, (or Lt. King Mob).

If you’re interested in joining the Droid Army, why not buy a button? These buttons are priced cheaply, and we do not make a cent off them. They’re here so we can represent ourselves at times of revolution.

The Product:

Loud Roberts Button.

The Pitch:

“Larger, more adaptive button capable of piercing skin and giving prison tats. March with the Ascendancy, I Stand Alone, and King Mob. Announce your goals of Darwinian leadership to the contentious upper class.”

The Price:

$1.29

 

The Product:

Quiet Roberts Button

The Pitch:

“A smaller, but more dominant pin.”

The Price:

99 cents

 

I love you.

 

Hey, Bob, Will You Join My Droid Army?

July 5th, 2007

 

 

The Product:

Roberts Golf Shirt

The Pitch:

“This smart little number helps you subtly display an understanding of love and affection and a healthy does of nihilism whilst on the links.”

 

 

The Product:

Mug Shot

The Pitch:

“At Legend’s loft Ascendancy is known to drink liquors from mugs, because Legend likes porcelain. Now you can be like Ascendancy, and have a mug.”

 

Here’s what the emblem looks like all close-up:

IHATRCT, or iheardaboutthisreallycoolthing or “I Hate Racists”

RIPMSR, or RestInPeaceMStevenRoberts or “Rip Master”

We are the 8,000.

Yours,

King Mob

P.S. I always loved you, JUMA.